Dead Cat Astronaut Sci-Fi T-shirt

In the inky black, between neon nebulae and rogue asteroids, cruised the Star Claw, a vessel crewed by the saltiest space cats this side of the Crab Nebula. Captain Meowser, a grizzled ginger with a cybernetic eye patch and a penchant for zero-gravity naps, surveyed the cosmos through his ship’s viewport.

"Xylar!" he yowled, his voice like gravel gargling in a laser blaster, "Chart a course for Kepler-186f! Word is, the Plutonian Puffballs are ripe for plunder!"

Xylar, a sleek Siamese with a navigator’s monocle perched precariously on his nose, tapped furiously at the console. "Aye, Cap'n! But the Whiskerwind's been sniffin' around. They'll be after the Puffballs too!"

Meowser grinned, a flash of sharp teeth. "Then we'll get there first! Fire up the hyperdrive, Mr. Mittens! Let's show those flea-bitten furballs what happens when they mess with the Star Claw!"

Mr. Mittens, a burly Maine Coon with a welding torch scar and a love for engine room brawls, heaved a lever. The Star Claw shuddered, then leaped into the swirling vortex of hyperspace, leaving a shimmering trail of stardust and the faint scent of catnip in its wake.

Their mission: pilfer those delectable Plutonian Puffballs, those sweet, space-faring delicacies, before the Whiskerwind could get their paws on them. After all, every space cat knows, the galaxy's a scratching post, and today, the Star Claw was ready to leave its mark.
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T-shirts are a dime a dozen, but this one stands out from the pack. It’s super soft, breathable, and has just the right amount of stretch. Need we say more?

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Size guide