I Got This Alien Invasion T-shirt

Commander Xylar, all bulbous head and spindly limbs, adjusted his ceremonial cape, the crimson fabric rippling in the thin, recycled air of his flagship, the Dominion. He surveyed the planet below, a swirling blue-green orb, through the viewport. "Primitive," he sneered, his voice a nasal whine. "They call themselves... humans. Pathetic."

His second-in-command, a hulking Grunt named Borok, grunted in agreement. "Their technology is laughable, Commander. Their weapons, mere sticks and stones compared to our disruptor cannons."

Xylar scoffed. "Exactly. I told the Grand Council, 'I Got This.' A simple planetary subjugation, a mere formality before my promotion to Supreme Overlord." He tapped a slender finger against the viewport. "Initiate the landing sequence. Let us show these earthlings the true meaning of galactic power."

The Dominion, a behemoth of steel and dark energy, descended through the atmosphere, casting a shadow that swallowed entire cities. Panic rippled through the human metropolises, a wave of fear that Xylar savored. He watched the primitive communication networks light up with panicked broadcasts, the flickering images of terrified faces.

The landing was flawless. Xylar's troops, the elite Kryll shock troopers, poured out of the Dominion, their disruptor rifles humming with lethal energy. They encountered no resistance. The humans, it seemed, were too stunned, too terrified to fight back.

Xylar, flanked by his Grunt bodyguards, strode through the deserted streets, his cape billowing behind him. He reached the central plaza of the largest city, where a handful of humans had gathered, their faces pale and drawn.

"Greetings, primitives," Xylar announced, his voice amplified by his translator device. "I am Commander Xylar of the Kryll Empire. You are now under our dominion. Surrender peacefully, and you may be spared."

A young woman, her eyes blazing with defiance, stepped forward. "We will never surrender," she declared, her voice trembling but resolute. "You may have superior technology, but you underestimate the human spirit."

Xylar chuckled. "The human spirit? What is that compared to the might of the Kryll Empire?"

Suddenly, a barrage of projectiles rained down on the Kryll troops. They were crude, metal objects, but they were launched with surprising force and accuracy. The Kryll shock troopers, caught off guard, stumbled and fell, their disruptor rifles useless against the swarm of metal.

Xylar stared in disbelief. "What is this?" he shrieked. "What are these... things?"

Borok, his usually stoic face contorted in alarm, pointed to the rooftops. "They're using... projectiles, Commander. They're throwing metal at us!"

Xylar's smug confidence began to crumble. He had underestimated the humans. He had assumed they would be cowed by his superior technology, but they were fighting back, using whatever they could find, their ingenuity compensating for their lack of advanced weaponry.

The humans fought with a ferocity that Xylar had never encountered. They were not afraid to die, not when their planet, their freedom, was at stake. They were resourceful, adapting to the Kryll's tactics, finding weaknesses in their armor, exploiting their reliance on technology.

The battle raged on, the streets of the city echoing with the sounds of gunfire and explosions. The Kryll troops, initially confident, were now fighting for their lives, their numbers dwindling with each passing moment.

Xylar, watching the chaos unfold, realized the gravity of his mistake. He had been so blinded by his arrogance, so convinced of his superiority, that he had failed to see the true nature of the humans. They were not a primitive, pathetic species. They were survivors, fighters, a force to be reckoned with.

He turned to Borok, his voice trembling. "We must retreat," he stammered. "We cannot win this battle."

Borok, his face grim, nodded in agreement. "The humans are stronger than we thought, Commander. We must regroup, reassess."

Xylar ordered the retreat, his voice laced with defeat. The Dominion lifted off, leaving behind a trail of destruction and a battlefield littered with the bodies of Kryll soldiers.

As the Dominion soared into the vast emptiness of space, Xylar stared at the planet below, his face etched with shame and regret. He had failed. He had underestimated the humans. He had learned a valuable lesson: never underestimate the underdog.

"I got this," he had said. But he was wrong. The humans had shown him that they were not to be underestimated, that they would fight for their planet, for their freedom, no matter the odds. And as he looked at the blue-green orb receding into the distance, he knew that the war was far from over. The humans had proven that they were a force to be reckoned with, and Xylar knew that the Kryll Empire would face a long and bloody fight if they ever dared to return.
---

This t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all.

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Size guide